But First...

I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue writing this column. I’ve just been recently diagnosed with a rather serious condition, well, more of an aliment. Unfortunately, although scientists are frantically searching for a cure, none that I know of to date has been found for this rather disturbing problem.

This is an ailment many of us suffer from. Some of you, however, may not even know you have it, but, after reading about this affliction in my column, you may actually be able to discuss its symptoms with loved ones and friends—and you should, it’s that serious.

It’s called the “But First Syndrome.” You know, it’s when I decide to do the laundry…I start down the hall to the laundry room and notice the newspaper on the table. Ok, I’m going to do the laundry, BUT FIRST I read the newspaper. After which, I notice the mail stacked on the table. Ok, I’ll put the newspaper in the recycle bin, BUT FIRST, I’ll sort through that pile of mail and see if there are bills that need to be paid. Yes, there are—now, where did I put my checkbook?

Oops…there’s an empty glass on the table. I’ll look for the checkbook, later, BUT FIRST, I need to put that glass in the sink. On my way to the sink, I happen to look out the kitchen window and notice my poor flowers need water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it; there’s the remote for the TV on the counter. What’s that doing there? I ask myself. I’ll just put it away, BUT FIRST, I need to water those plants! I head for the door and….Aaagh! Ok, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants, BUT FIRST, I need to feed the dog, which is darn nice of me considering we don’t even have a dog!

End of day: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, the glass is still in the sink, bills unpaid, checkbook still lost—and the dog ate the remote control! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I’m baffled….I know I was busy all day long! What happened? Now, I remember the “BUT FIRST SYNDROME”. I realize this is a serious condition and I’ll get help! BUT FIRST, I should work on next month’s article, BUT before I do that, I think I’ll check my e-mail!

(Thanks Internet buddies for helping me with this article!) First appeared in The Crossroads Oct. 2001

Also in the book “The Rowboat Revisited”  under a different format but same information.

Touching Grandma's Heart

When a baby is born, so is a grandparent.  At the age of 63 I became 'grandma' for the first time.  As I think about the miracle of life, I am moved by God's awesome greatness.  I am filled with joy because of the blessings God has given me by allowing me to be here for the birth of not one but two grandchildren.  To be a part of their lives is a blessing I will never ever take for granted.  And if there should be more grandchildren to love and cherish in my future I will consider their lives a blessing to me as well.

          As grandparents we bestow upon our grandchildren strength and wisdom that time and experience has given us.  We pass that wisdom, if they will allow it, on to our grandchildren and we should not take our role lightly.  We are family.  The chain may lengthen but it will never be broken.  And, along with that wisdom will be wonderful stories to tell.

          And now friends, I get to share some of those wonderful stories with all of you in my new book!

(To order a copy of Touching Grandma's Heart, 

contact the author at: authorconnielhawkins@yahoo.com

Visit the website authorconnielhawkins.com)

What's Wrong With The World

What's wrong with the world...is becoming the slogan for 2013.  Truthfully, there's nothing wrong with the world.  God created this a perfect world and then made man in his own image -- also perfect.  As his highest and most valuable creations, God gave man free will, the ability to choose between right and wrong.  Perhaps, that's where He went wrong!  Unfortunately, man choose the wrong and rebelled against what's right -- and that my friends is what's wrong with the world.  Can God fix mankind?  You bet He can.

That's why he sent Jesus!

A Good Laugh for the Over 50 Age Group!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

Us senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

(Thanks to my sister-in-law for sharing this with me via of email!)

God's Phone Number is Never Busy

Hello God, I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.

You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me
So I'll never feel alone.

I want to ask you, please, to keep
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.

Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way.

I thank you God, for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.

Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.
So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You, too,
And I'll call again tomorrow!
P.S.  Please bless all my friends and family too.

A Happy New Resolution

Every January I make a list of resolutions, things I hope to change about my life. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. 

We all have 'heartaches by the number and troubles by the score' so, letting go of these things and letting God take care of them is my resolution for 2013.  My second resolution is to vow not to break the first one!  The days are already looking brighter but, then again, the New Year is only 3 days old! 

The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas in Bethlehem town

Creatures were stirring from all around

From the outer limits to the town's square

People came for the census from everywhere

Activity was bustling at the towns largest inn

So many people there was no room for Joseph to enter in

What would he tell Mary--it had been such a long day

Where would they go where would they stay

Mary with child was tired from such a long trip

All she wanted was to lie down and rest

The inn keeper felt sad to turn them away

He sent them to the stable with a bed made of hay

And there it was that a miracle took place

with angels singing of His mercy and grace

In the dawn of a heavenly Christmas morn

The baby Jesus, savior of the world was born!